Being a parent is a 24 hour/7 days a week job. I know this is a fact, because I am part of the epidemic we all know
as teen pregnancy. I have a 2 year-old daughter that depends on me to provide all of her necessities, give her love
and support, and to set a good example for her. Making sure that I meet her needs is a job on its own, but fulfilling
those needs, juggling school and work is almost an impossible task.
Completing these goals is tough enough, but without parental guidance or family support, they are nearly
impossible. For the reasons above, I am happy that I have the Transitional Living Program, or TLP for short. The
TLP is designed to help teenage girls who are wards of the court, in foster homes, and/or abused and neglected. It
helps provide a safe environment for my daughter and myself and also teaches me the necessities I need to survive
in the real world. Most importantly, it teaches me responsibility.
A typical week for my daughter and I consists of 22.5 hours of school and daycare, 16 hours of work and home
care, 3 hours of group meetings, 1 hour of budgeting, 3 hours of independent study, and 3 hours of miscellaneous
tasks. It’s hard being a full-time mother and part-time student, employee, and resident. Making sure that I spend
enough time with my daughter is stressful, especially when you know you’re doing these things to make the child’s
future brighter. But I still feel the guilt that nags at me. I wish there was a book to tell mothers the answers to the
questions about their children, especially if you don’t have positive role models to take advice from.
This program has been beneficial to me because of the goals that are constantly stressed to make the residents the
best they can be. These goals are taught by several procedures that the girls have to participate in weekly. Group
meetings, cooking classes, weekly chores, and budgeting are just some the examples of the goals that are stressed.
When a resident has shown exceptional progress and has completed all the necessary tasks, the resident then moves
to phase two of the program, off-site homes or apartments that are our own!!! Of course there are still
appointments that the girls must participate in from TLP, and a caseworker visits the home twice a week or more,
and helps provide assistance on learning how to live comfortably on a budget.
The TLP has not only helped me by providing guidance and life survival skills, but it has also giving me self
-confidence and sense of accomplishment. I never knew what it would be like to live on my “own,” and now that
I’ve had a hands-on experience I have no doubt as to whether I can make it out in the real world. It is stressful to
learn how to be independent but I knew that one day I would have to learn these things. The TLP has made it an
experience to remember.
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My husband and I have been privileged to be Foster Parents since 1996. Both of us came from families that did not have a lot of money but knew the importance of family relationships. We both feel that God has really blessed us and we need to share these blessings with others, especially children that are abused, neglected and often abandoned.
Through the years, we worked with special needs children through organizations such as church, cub scouts, and Big Brothers/Big Sister’s. We have seen our own family members in crisis and know the impact of crises on children. These experiences all played a big part in our decision to become Foster Parents. We wanted to take school age children whose families could not provide a safe home for them and give them the love and support they so desperately need if they are to survive in this world. We felt we could provide some kids an opportunity to experience a different life style and gain the skills they would need once they returned to their own family. We made the decision to work primarily with boys. Without guidance and help, males have a greater likelihood of becoming involved in the criminal justice system .
We have been blessed to have had seven children (6 boys and 1 girl) share our home at different times since we became licensed foster parents with Whitington Homes & Services for Children and Families. Most of the children stay with us for at least a year, although one was with us less than six months. Two of the boys were with us a year and then returned to family members. Initially, the boys were not successful with their families and returned to stay with us for another year. Some of the children stayed for two or three years and one has been with us for the past four years.
All of the children have a history of multiple abuse. In spite of the abuse, neglect and abandonment issues the children experienced, each were unique with their own hurts, problems and gifts. All of them desperately loved their families and wanted to be able to “go back home.” We watched these frightened, angry children as they slowly learned to trust us. We have sometimes been the target of their anger and pain. We held them at night when “nightmares” would not let them sleep. We comforted them when they were disappointed because their birth family let them down. We suffered with them, laughed and cried with them. We tried to support them and encourage them while providing a “safe place” to discover the world around them. We have seen the children try, fail, and try again, amazed at their strength and courage.
It is truly a miracle to experience the growth and transformation each child goes through. Each of them leave our home knowing they are worth loving, discovering a little bit of the person they were created to be. Each of them have experienced the opportunity to learn, grow, make choices, fail, and pick themselves up and try again. Children leave foster care knowing the difference between right and wrong. Hopefully, they also leave foster care with the strength to choose right from wrong. We loved each and every Whitington foster child sent to us. In return we have been loved back.
Whitington Homes & Services for Children and Families, Inc. 2423 Fairfield Avenue, Fort Wayne, IN 46807 260.745.9431
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